An exercise in not being good at exercise

by Caton McKenna

So, one of my resolutions this year is to go to work out three times a week. So far I’ve gone kickboxing on Monday and today I went to “rejuvenating yoga” or “reenergizing yoga” or something, it was definitely going to “re” something in my body, and I can definitely use some “re.”

Anyways, I showed up to the class and got the mat from the back. Yoga always slightly stresses me out because I feel like you need to know a lot. Where are the mats, what are these Indian blankets for? Should I wear socks? There is a lot of uncertainty.

I opted for socks, until I realized mine were mismatched and holy, the chipped manicure look is still in, right?

Guys- guess what? Yoga is HARD. Seriously, I didn’t realize all the muscles I had in my body until I went to yoga. And guess what, all of my muscles are WEAK AND USELESS, or at least that’s how I felt in class. I also determined that I weigh approximately 300 pounds, since every time I had to lift my weight (which is always), I felt my knees and arms buckle.

It was embarrassing, as my students would say “You embarrassed.”

Yoga has such a steep learning curve too. I was having trouble going from diving cow to downward doggy style to shaking tree, it was all very confusing. Then of course there was counting crow which that yoga instructor was sure everyone was familiar with.

Not me.

AND…I had the shakes, like whoah. I couldn’t even stand on one foot without collapsing. My balance is somewhat lacking I guess…who knew you needed balance to be good at yoga.

I wasn’t even good at the breathing exercises. Breathe. Piece of cake, right? I’m definitely a pro at breathing. Nope.

You have to clear your mind.

And since I want to be good at everything and really clear my mind, I think:

NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING

So…pretty much a pro. Can’t wait til next week!!

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